IG in its infinite wisdom suggested @thesecurerelationship this morning. As I scrolled through her posts, the really shiny one that stuck out was “How to Manage Anger…especially when you’re alone with it.”
I realized even as I was writing my previous post that I was still taking a very cognitive, reframing approach. I have a complicated, love-hate relationship with cognitive approaches (more on that another time) but it’s still my default to get in my head. Menanno’s post maps out very straightforward steps to helping a strong emotion like anger move through your body physically. Falls under the category of what the Nagoski sisters call dealing with the stress itself vs. dealing with the stressor. I also pick up on IFS or some sort of parts work in her posts, which is something that’s worked well for me. I’m on the search now for something that offers more resistance than the squishy freebie stress ball I have, and I’m kinda excited to get pissed off again so I can try it!
By the way, I find her explanations of attachment styles and how they play out in dyadic relationships some of the clearest I’ve seen on IG so far (not a huge amount of data there, but still). If you want that same clarity around poly relationships, check out Jessica Fern’s Polysecure.